The whole world is gripped with a new mysterious twitterer and their ability to accurately predict the future via their tweets and the use of #hashtags. No one knows the true identity of the account holder but seem quite entertained by the words of wisdom contained within the tweets.
However, things turn a dark corner as the tweets and hashtags become linked to numerous sinister murders around the world. Who exactly is the mysterious twitterer and why aren't they preventing the murders if they can predict the future? Could they be the murderer?
#Slashtag #Onedownthreetogo
Friday, 27 September 2013
Monday, 23 September 2013
Gaijin!: Nam versus the Japanese Toilet
The toilets in Japanese are stupidly sophisticated at times, what with integrated bidets, musical buttons to allow discrete excretion, seat warmers and automatic seat opening. However, attached with this sophistication is a great deal unnecessary complication.
In one such restaurant, I was trying to figure out how to flush the toilet having done my business. I consequently stood up and started tampering with some of the buttons on the electrical panel beside the toilet. I of course managed to press one of the bidet/spray buttons and consequently, as no derrière was in place to shield the room from the water, it sprayed right into the room and into my face.
Cue some Fawlty Towers farcical humour as I try to switch off the unintended spray-age and trying not to re-emerge into the restaurant as a drowned rat.
In one such restaurant, I was trying to figure out how to flush the toilet having done my business. I consequently stood up and started tampering with some of the buttons on the electrical panel beside the toilet. I of course managed to press one of the bidet/spray buttons and consequently, as no derrière was in place to shield the room from the water, it sprayed right into the room and into my face.
Friday, 13 September 2013
Office Hours 13th September 2013
From: Jordan Farmer (Youth Co-ordinator)
To: allstaff@haarville.ac.uk
Subject: WORK to TWERK
Hiya all!!!!!1!
Wassup? You're hip youth co-ordinator here. With the new academic year rolling, I'm pleased to introduce a new initiative I've been developing over the summer with the backing of the vice chancellor to encourage undergraduates and prospective students to maintain their studies throughout the year :).
The initiative, WORK to TWERK, rewards students for each additional hour of academic study by allowing them to twerk, a sexually provocative dance phenomenon which is popular with the kids :P. Academics are also more than welcome to participate!
More details can be obtained by e-mailing/tweeting/texting me.
Ttyl,
J
To: allstaff@haarville.ac.uk
Subject: WORK to TWERK
Hiya all!!!!!1!
Wassup? You're hip youth co-ordinator here. With the new academic year rolling, I'm pleased to introduce a new initiative I've been developing over the summer with the backing of the vice chancellor to encourage undergraduates and prospective students to maintain their studies throughout the year :).
The initiative, WORK to TWERK, rewards students for each additional hour of academic study by allowing them to twerk, a sexually provocative dance phenomenon which is popular with the kids :P. Academics are also more than welcome to participate!
More details can be obtained by e-mailing/tweeting/texting me.
Ttyl,
J
Monday, 9 September 2013
Office Hours 9th September 2013
From: Shaun Parkinson (Statistics IT officer)
To: allstaff@stats.haarville.ac.uk; phd@stats.haarville.ac.uk
Subject: BEWARE OF PHISHING E-MAIL!!
Hi all,
Just to let you know that a recent phishing e-mail has been spotted in the University's e-mail system. This latest e-mail advertises penis or breast enlargement medication and it is advised by IT services that you delete this e-mail immediately, no matter how tempting you or your girlfriend/wife/partner would like to be more well endowed.
Cheers,
Shaun
To: allstaff@stats.haarville.ac.uk; phd@stats.haarville.ac.uk
Subject: BEWARE OF PHISHING E-MAIL!!
Hi all,
Just to let you know that a recent phishing e-mail has been spotted in the University's e-mail system. This latest e-mail advertises penis or breast enlargement medication and it is advised by IT services that you delete this e-mail immediately, no matter how tempting you or your girlfriend/wife/partner would like to be more well endowed.
Cheers,
Shaun
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